


Moving Forward

by Evilsforreals



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-07 16:15:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11627187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evilsforreals/pseuds/Evilsforreals
Summary: Self-reflection is never a quick or easy fix. Change can happen by force, or come naturally. And balance isn't everything. Craig is working on realizing these lessons, while getting closer to Sam.





	1. A Run Like Any Other

The day started like every other. The alarm managed to get two shrill buzzes in before Craig promptly smacked the snooze button. He rubbed his eyes and squinted at the neon numbers. 6:00am. He chuckled halfheartedly. Ten years of this, and it was still as difficult as ever to push past that initial moment of falling back asleep. Yawning, he yanked the covers off and pushed off the bed.

Silently, he pulled on his sweatpants and a light windbreaker. Forecast last night said there would be a nip in the air. After lacing up his sneakers, Craig set off down the hallway as quietly as he could. He stopped by Hazel and Briar’s room, and gently pushed the door ajar. They were still sleeping peacefully; Hazel nestled serenely among her covers, while Briar looked like a marionette, arms and legs spilling haphazardly over the edge of her bed. He gave them each a soft peck on the cheek, and swiftly exited the room.

At the next door, he placed his ear to the wood, and as always, heard the faint gurgling and cooing of River. Craig gently opened the door, to see his youngest daughter sitting in the middle of her crib, waving her tiny arms. “There’s my little running buddy,” Craig whispered, plucking River out of her bed and into his arms. “Ready for a run?”

River’s face broke into a toothless grin, as her fingers poked and prodded her father's face. Craig happily obliged, and stuffed a hand playfully into his mouth for a moment, drawing out a high-pitched giggle. He rotated River to take a cautionary whiff at her backside; thankfully she hadn’t made her usual morning mess yet. “Let’s go bro, don’t wanna keep Sam waiting.”

Five minutes, a water bottle refill, a baby sized coat, and a last check of the twins later, and Craig was quietly locking the front door. For once, the forecast was accurate with a slight chill in the morning air as he stretched his arm over his head. There was the faintest hint of pink on the horizon.

There was a soft snap of a door closing, and Craig turned from appreciating the sky to see Sam stumbling over from his house. He was wearing a neon green tank top, and bright red shorts; someone clearly hadn’t checked the weather. His arms were crossed against his chest, and his teeth were chattering slightly. River immediately started waving her arms animatedly as Sam approached.

“H-hey my little athlete,” Sam said, softly tugging at River’s hands.

“Mmbeh,” River murmured, fidgeting and wiggling in the cool morning air. Craig smiled fondly down at his daughter; he had teared up the first time River had reached out for Sam the way she usually did for him exclusively.

“How ya doing babe?” Craig asked, giving Sam a small peck on the nose.

Sam forced out a hasty yawn, and smiled blearily at him, “Managing as always. And being awake is at least half the battle.” He grimaced as a gust of wind ruffled his shaggy brown hair. “I keep forgetting to check the damn weather. One of these days I’m gonna show up in a sundress in the middle of winter.”

Craig raised his eyebrows. “One of these days? Dude don’t tell me you forgot your sophomore frat pledge.”

There was a brief moment of confusion before recollection spilled over Sam’s face like a dark stain of horror. “Oh God.”

Craig shook his head sympathetically. “Phi Betta Kappa, dude. We never did get in,” he lamented with a half-smirk. He pointed at Sam’s shorts. “But at least you remembered that red is a good color for you.”

Sam winked coquettishly and promptly spun around, revealing bold black letters on the backside.

All was quiet, save for a lone bird chirping in the distance. Finally Craig spoke.

“We’re through Sam.”

“Babe, no!”

Craig turned away. “I can’t believe you. ‘ARE YOU NASTY?’ No. No second chances.”

Sam gave his ass a firm slap, and adopted a look of mock hurt. “You’re the reason I got them in the first place! You know how many times Amanda has tried to sneak them out in the trash?”

“Good girl. I’ll be sure to send her another care package.”

“HEY!”

Craig and Sam glared daggers at each other from across the driveway. At that moment, the silence was broken by a disproportionately loud belch from River. Craig couldn’t help but crack a grin at that. “Fine. We’re back together. But I’m going to bribe Amanda to double her efforts when she gets back for break.”

Sam grinned. “I can live with those odds. Now let’s get this run over with. Usually I’m already out of breath and dreaming of a heatstroke-induced death by this point in the morning.”

Craig gave Sam a playful punch to the arm. “Don’t worry, we’ll get back on our timescale. It’s dead-sprint day after all.”

The face that Sam pulled captured the quintessential essence of despair. Nevertheless, he moved alongside Craig and the two began their run.

When Craig used to run on his own, music was a necessity. He never left home without a charged phone and some functional earbuds. The differing rhythms of each song forced him to decrease or increase his speed at random, helping him to stay focused on his workout. 

For Craig, the hardest part hadn’t been the actual exercise, but the loneliness of it. He was hard-pressed to see ANYONE out running at this time. None of the other dads on the cul-de-sac had ever shown interest in morning runs. Running in that silence, Craig couldn’t help but think he was doing something wrong, or missing out on something.

But now, he rarely wore earbuds for running. Ever since Sam had somewhat reluctantly joined him regularly on his morning runs, music didn’t feel as necessary to fill that silent void. Instead of repetitive techno, or nostalgic dance numbers, he began to appreciate the sound of not one, but two pairs of shoes hitting the sidewalk. The soft grunts and gasps of someone important to him, struggling alongside him as they ran through the dark. He knew he was probably reading too much into it, but all the same, running didn’t feel embarrassing when Sam was around.

 

About an hour later, despite Sam running head first into several tree branches, the two dads arrived back at the cul-de-sac more or less in one piece. Craig walked with Sam up the steps to his front door. “Meet you in an hour or so for brunch?” Sam asked, wincing as he fumbled for his keys.

“Always bro,” said Craig, wiping a line of sweat off his forehead. “Just gotta change River, get the twins off to school, and grab a shower. I’ll message you when I’m on my way.”

Sam smiled wearily, gesturing to his face covered in a myriad of cuts and scratches. “Gonna need a truckload of brunch to heal this face.”

Craig tried to stifle a chuckle. “Bro, if brunch fixed faces we’d be eating ‘till the end of time.”

Sam squinted at him, shaking his head. “Well you sure answered the question written on my shorts.”

Craig fought to keep a straight face, but Sam wasn't helping, and he relented with a hearty laugh. “Let’s be real, never-ending brunch has a nice sound to it."

The two shared a quick soft kiss, before Sam headed inside, and Craig and River headed towards their home. The day was still chilly, but Craig felt nothing but warmth.


	2. Unexpected Eggos

It was always a guessing game on if the girls were up at this point, so Craig still tried to enter the house quietly. But as he closed the door behind him, he spotted Briar with an exceptional case of bedhead heading towards the bathroom in her pajamas. “Morning kiddo,” Craig said, rubbing her head as she passed. “Sleep well?”

 

“My back is sore but I’m ok,” she said drearily, rubbing at her eyes.

 

“Sprawling out like a murder victim will do that honey.”

 

Briar gave a little shake of his head and closed the door to the bathroom. Smiling to himself, Craig rapped on the door. “Don’t dawdle in there, i’ll have breakfast ready in ten minutes!”

 

After hearing a muffled affirmation from Briar, Craig pulled River out of her harness and carried her into the twins bedroom, to see Hazel, like always, already washed and dressed. She was lounging in her desk chair, texting someone on her phone, but raised her head as Craig entered the room. “Morning sweetheart, River says hi!” Craig said while shaking the toddler's arms playfully.

 

Hazel smiled, and hopped up to give Craig a quick hug. “Morning dad!” she said cheerfully, before leaning down and giving River a soft kiss. “Morning ‘sis!”

 

River squealed with delight and did her best to grab at Hazel with her chubby little fingers, while Hazel successfully dodged the infantile onslaught. Suddenly, Hazel made a face. “Ew, River needs a change!”

 

Sure enough, Craig’s sniff check turned up positive. “Ooh, sorry baby-bro! Hazel can you change River for me?”

 

Hazel huffed in annoyance. “Why do I have to?”

 

“You don’t have to, but I could use the help while I get you and your sister’s breakfast ready. And if you help, I may give you a say in todays menu.”

 

At this, Hazel perked up. “Eggos?”

 

Craig’s fitness-centric heart couldn’t help but throb a little at the mention of those manufactured carb death traps. But a deal was a deal. “Eggos it is. And if you can put River in a nice outfit, I’ll let you use the real-”

 

Craig couldn’t finish his sentence as Hazel pulled River from his arms. She stared at him intensely. “Not that sugar free junk?”

 

“Cross my heart. The real maple syrup.”

 

She grinned. “Sweet!” and like that she and River were gone. With a semi-heavy heart, Craig made his way to the kitchen, and popped a few Eggos into the toaster. Determined to inject a LITTLE health into their morning meal, he started grabbing ingredients for a smoothie. 

 

Fresh spinach, frozen berries, half a banana, pomegranate juice, and a little plain yoghurt were soon blending away as smells of toasted sweetbread began to fill the kitchen. Craig quickly poured his greenish concoction into three glasses, and expertly flipped the golden waffles onto plates.

“EGGOS!” Moments later, Briar materialized in the kitchen, grabbing her plate and glass and heading to the kitchen table. “Thanks dad!”

 

Craig shook his head. “Thank Hazel; she volunteered diaper duty for you two to have the opportunity to stuff sugar into your bodies at 7 in the morning.”

 

Briar made a noncommittal grunt of thanks, partly due to the fact that she had bitten off a chunk of the Eggos that was proving to be bigger than anticipated. She quickly took a sip from her glass to wash it down. “Great smoothie today. Why do they never look as good as they taste? It looks like pondscum.”

 

“Maybe pond scum actually tastes like my smoothie and you just don’t know.”

 

Briar cocked her head to the side and smirked. “No it’s not, I know what pond scum tastes like dad.”

 

Craig narrowed his eyes. “And how, exactly would you know what it tastes like then?”

 

Realizing her error, she began to backtrack. “I mean- t-that’s not what I-I think I heard from the Ernest-”

 

Thankfully, Hazel and River suddenly arrived, causing enough commotion for Briar to take another mammoth bite to avoid further conversation. Hazel plopped River into her meal seat, and Craig poured out a few dry cereals for her to nibble on. For a few minutes, there was just the sound of clinking silverware and chewing. Craig loved these moments of quiet when they were all together, just being in one another's company.

 

“Hey Dad do we still have practice today?” Hazel asked, as she poured a generous amount of syrup onto her last waffle.

 

“We should be, as long as the weather holds up. Says there might be a storm later tonight.” Craig grimaced. He had never liked storms; he couldn’t run well in the rain, and thunder creeped him out. “How’s your day looking?”

 

Hazel shrugged dismissively. “Just a quiz in English. Mr. Vega said it was gonna be over some vocabulary from some story we read in class.”

"Which story?"

"I forget." 

 

Again, Craig narrowed his eyes, but Hazel saw it coming and was ready. “What about you, what do you have going on today?”

 

Craig did his best to keep a straight face. She had learned from the best in terms of diversion.

 

“Grabbing brunch with Sam-bro, doing some work, and then coaching all of that syrup and sugar out of you at practice. Amanda’s back in town for the weekend, so we’ll meet up with her and Sam for a night on the town! And when I say ‘a night on the town,’ I mean we’re 95% getting pizza.”

 

Briar nodded energetically. “Score! Anything that gets us pizza is a good time!”

 

Craig looked over at Hazel, who didn’t look quite as thrilled. In fact, it looked like she hadn’t even heard him. Her face was unreadable as she finished her waffle, and rose to take her dishes to the sink. “Hazel? That sound ok?”

 

Hazel merely nodded, still not saying anything, which Craig found odd. She may do a better job at hiding it than Briar, but she was usually equally if not more excited about the prospect of cheese and arcade games. He shot a questioning look at Briar, who shrugged, equally confused.

 

“Alright then bros, finish up and get ready. The bus should be here any minute.”

 

Briar headed back to her room to grab her bag, leaving Craig with an oblivious River, and a silent Hazel. “Honey? Everything ok?”

 

Hazel sighed. “It’s fine dad, I dunno...why do we always hang out with Sam all the time? Doesn’t he have other stuff to do?”

 

Of all the things Craig had been expecting, this wasn’t one of them. For a second he just gazed, mouth slightly open in surprise. Thankfully, Hazel was still focused on rinsing her plate and didn't see his confusion. By the time she looked up, he had adopted a simple look of confusion.

 

“You don’t like Sam-bro? He comes and cheers at all your games!”

 

Hazel turned away. “Never mind, I was just joking dad. See you at practice.” And without another word, she grabbed her bag and was out the door. Without even a hug goodbye. Ouch.

 

Briar ran back into the kitchen. She glanced around, eyebrows raised. “Did Hazel leave without me? What gives?”

 

Craig shook his head, not wanting to start something until they had time to talk things out. “I don’t know sweetheart, she just bolted. Bus isn’t here yet though, so you can walk if you want. Have a good day dear.”

 

Briar shrugged. “Eh might as well run as well. Love ya dad-bro!”

 

“Love ya kid-bro, don't fill up on pondscum!” Craig said, giving her a quick side hug and a peck on the cheek. Briar turned red, mumbled something inaudible, and was out the door, running towards the bus stop.

 

Craig waited until the door closed with a snap. Then he let out a long drawn out groan, and slumped onto the table. What was that all about? Where did that even come from? He felt a slight touch, and raised his head to see River sympathetically swatting his arm.

 

“Thanks baby-bro,” Craig said wearily. “Nothing you can do anyway right now. Give it a few years and I’m sure you’ll be a bevy of fatherly wisdom.”

 

“Glemp.”

 

“Thats...actually pretty sound advice.”

 

“Heibo.”

 

“You’re right, let’s go meet Sam-bro for brunch.”

 

“Ninmun.”

 

“Now that’s just being rude, River.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it all feels in character! I'm really enjoying this!


	3. Brunch for your Thoughts

It became painfully apparent that Hazel’s words had shaken Craig more than expected. He realized it after his third attempt of putting River’s hat onto her foot. He groaned again.

 

_ What would Sam think of this? Would it hurt their relationship? And what about Hazel? Could Sam be hurting my relationship with my kids? Well not Briar. Or what if Briar is hiding it more? Is River going to feel this way too? God I need brunch. _

 

Head swimming with concerns, Craig eventually got River’s hat and coat properly on, and they headed towards the diner. Sam was waiting outside in a bright blue sweatshirt and navy blue jeans. It was still remarkable how Sam could clash color so horrendously but still make it work. He also looked visibly cheerful; but that was probably just because of the looming expectation of greasy food instead of a run.

 

At his footsteps, Sam turned, grinning expectantly at Craig’s arrival. “Hey bro, was about to go on in and-” he paused, and cocked his head to the side. “Craig? You ok? What’s eating you? You look like you just drank a spoiled protein shake.”

 

Craig shook his head wearily. “Let’s sit down and order first. I need the grimiest brunch we can possibly muster today.”

 

Sam’s eyes widened slightly, but he said nothing, instead, placing a sympathetic hand on Craig’s shoulder for a moment. It was just for a moment, but it conveyed empathy, understanding, and love. Then he ruffled River’s hat gently, and moved to pull the door open. 

 

He beckoned to Craig, who gratefully headed inside. A minute later they were seated in their usual spot in the corner, River playing animatedly with Arnold. The jukebox in the corner was belting out a slightly scratched Sinatra number. Craig closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He felt Sam’s hand gently close on top of his own. He opened his eyes to see Sam smiling softly at him.

 

Moments like these made Craig appreciate him even more. He wasn’t demanding an explanation, or asking endless questions. Sam may be socially awkward at times, but he had the tact and grace to understand that some things need to come naturally. He was happy to wait and be there for him and be ready to help when Craig was ready.

 

“Mornin’ Sam, mornin’ Craig, mornin’ River,” a tired voice interrupted their moment. Craig looked up to see Florence, an older woman with a tired smile, brandishing two steaming mugs of coffee. “Getting the usual today?”

 

Sam smiled patiently. “That’d be lovely Florence. Maybe add some milkshakes today too, huh?”

 

Florence’s eyebrow raised as she set the cups down in front of them, and tickled the tip of River’s nose. “Tough day? Don’t worry, we’ll set you boys straight.”

 

She headed off towards the kitchen, calling out their order. Craig took a sip from his cup, and smiled. “I needed this.”

 

Sam followed suit with his mug, and grinned. “It’s a statistical fact that 75% of the world's problems stem from a lack of sufficient caffeine.”

 

“According to who?”

 

“Me. Mind your own business.”

 

Craig snorted. “I wish this could be fixed with a cup of bean juice.”

 

They were quiet at the table for a minute or so. Then Craig spoke again. “Ugh, bro...I’m not even sure how to put this.”

 

Sam’s brow furrowed slightly at this. “Is it something I did?”

 

“No! God no...at least I don’t think? I mean, I guess there’s a chance-”

 

“Wait there’s a CHANCE I’m partly responsible?”

 

Craig put his head in his hands.  _ Why is this so hard to put into words? _ He lifted his head and saw the concern in Sam’s face, and that steeled his resolve to just tell him. Whatever happened, he’d do everything he could to try and fix it.

 

“Bro...Hazel...said something at breakfast this morning. Maybe she didn’t mean anything by it, but it’s been bothering me ever since she said it, and she left before I got a proper explanation.”

 

“What were you talking about?”

 

“Nothing! She had asked me what I was doing today. I told her brunch with you, getting some work done, practice, and then we were gonna meet up with you and ‘Manda Panda for pizza or something.”

 

Sam nodded. “Ok, and what did she say?”

 

Craig hesitated for a second, eyes fixed on the chipped table. He felt a flush of embarrassment on his face.He was afraid of hurting Sam’s feelings. He still didn’t know the whole story, but he had to say something. He had to tell him.

 

“I dunno man, she didn’t look excited, and when I pressed her about it, she asked why you spent so much time with us all the time. I tried to ask more, but she just ran out the door to school.”Sam was silent. Craig was still looking at the table determinedly not making any kind of eye contact. What felt like hours ticked by.

 

Finally it was too much, and Craig looked up reluctantly. But there wasn’t a look of hurt or betrayal on his face. All he saw was a kind and understanding smile. Sam pulled Craig’s hand to his face for a kiss,and sighed. “I figured we would have a talk like this sooner or later. Guess it’s sooner.”

 

“What do you-” but Craig was caught off by the arrival of Florence with their food. Scrambled eggs on toast, roasted mushrooms and onions, cheesy hashbrowns, blueberry pancakes, and two large vanilla milkshakes, as well as a small bowl of dry cereal for River. Craig had forgotten how hungry he was, and the next few minutes were spent in blissful silence, as all three of the intrepid runners dug into their feast.

 

“So what did you mean just now?”

 

Sam merely shrugged his shoulders, tracing the top of his mug with a finger. “I knew something like this would most likely pop up.”

 

Craig shook his head. “I’m not following you.”

 

Sam smiled and spread his hands. “We’ve been going steady for a few months now, but not everyone knows. You’ve never told Briar and Hazel, but they’re smart girls. And they think I’m intruding. Or they think something is up at the very least.”

 

“Bro, you’re not intruding!”

 

Sam chuckled. “I know that, but they don’t yet.” Sam stared wistfully out the window. “In a lot of ways, you’re a lucky man Craig Cahn.”

 

Craig grimaced. I don’t feel very lucky right now.”

 

Sam shook his head gently. “But you really are. It’s so rare for divorced parents to be on good terms. Yet you and Smashley still have a good relationship. You parted amicably, and you’re still friends. And both of you still made the kids top priority. Never once, did you make them feel like it was their fault. To Briar and Hazel, you’re still a family, just with a bit of moving and working involved. And here I come, starting to show up in their lives. Who is this guy? Why does he hang out so much? What’s he trying to do?” Sam chuckled again. “If Amanda was younger, I would expect her to ask me the same thing about you.”

 

“It just confuses me,” Craig pressed. “Up until now, the girls have always loved having you and Amanda around. They love hearing you scream crazy things at their games, they love asking you for help with word puzzles, and they actually tolerate your dad puns! They don’t even laugh at mine! And they’re MY kids!”

 

Sam burst out laughing at this. Craig couldn’t help it, and the two had a nice fit of chuckles and laughs while River eyed them both suspiciously. After a while they managed to calm down. Craig wiped a tear from his eye. “What do you think I should do?”

 

Sam pondered the question for a minute, taking a sip of his shake while he thought. “Well...and you can tell me if this isn’t comfortable...but you could try sitting down with Smashley and asking her how to put it to the kids. Sooner or later, you’ll have to tell them, and it might be prudent to make sure that both of you tell it in a way that makes them feel safe. The last thing I want to do is hurt those girls. I care about them just as much as you do.”

 

Craig couldn’t help but feel tears well up in his eyes. It happened whenever Sam started talking about Briar, or Hazel, or River. After that night in the tent, Sam had made it a priority to learn about the girls and their interests. He would grudgingly let them put makeup on his face, or would suffer bruises while playing catch with them in the park. The way he acted with them, you would never know that they weren’t his kids.

 

“Bro, you can’t start the waterworks whenever I mention them.”

 

Craig wiped his eyes again. “Don’t tell me what to do, just let me feel emotional that my boyfriend is such a good guy to my kids! I’ll cry all I want!”

 

Sam relented and squeezed Craig’s hand again. “All right, it’s your god-given duty to be an adorable blubbering mess around your kids. Let’s finish up.”

 

The two men finished up the rest of their meal, hands still grasping one another. It was comforting, but Craig was still feeling uneasy. “I’m still a little scared bro. Not gonna lie.” He looked out the window. “I just...I like what we have right now. I don’t wanna lose it.”

 

Sam smiled. “Remember when we were laying next to each other in that tent? Looking into each other's eyes?”

 

Craig pondered for a moment. “I love you bro?”

 

Sam snorted and shook his head. “Well, that too. But you said something else that’s stuck with me since then.” Sam’s hand moved up to gently cup Craig’s chin. Craig stared into those soft blue eyes, and it came rushing back.

 

“Talking about old times is fun, but I like making new memories with you.”

 

Sam squeezed Craig’s chin playfully. “Exactly. There’s nothing I would rather do than be stuck in a perpetual cycle where nothing bad happens, and there are no problems, and no more killer sprints, and we can just be sad saps in love eating junk food and watching TV.”

 

Craig feigned a pout at this. “No killer sprints?” Sam responded by lightly smacking Craig’s nose.

 

“But this is going to be another new chapter in our lives. I love you bro. I want to make this work. And I want Hazel and Briar to feel included as we start figuring all of this out. There’s going to be misunderstandings. There’s going to be anger, and sadness. But you know what? If it’s for you...I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

 

Craig’s hands quickly grabbed the back of Sam’s hands, and pulled him into a firm kiss. It was a little rough for a public setting, but Craig didn’t care. Here, across the table, sat a man that would stand by him through the good and the bad. And there was nothing more reassuring than that.

 

“Mbleh?”

 

They broke apart, eyes on River, who was looking very confused.

 

Craig shook his head. “Dont be a wet blanket River, c’mon.”

 

“Yeah River, don’t shame two dads having a little kiss-therapy.”

 

“Glemp.”

 

“River you really need to stop listening to Smashley when she’s on the phone.”


	4. A Smashing Hit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on this latest chapter! One of the teachers at our school up and quit/left the country overnight so I've been covering extra work shifts at our school. But I'm still determined to see this story through!

With brunch finished, the two dads reluctantly returned to their homes to work. Sam pulled him into a strong hug before they separated. “I know it’s gonna be tough, but we’ll figure this out together bro. Deal?”

Craig smiled and squeezed Sam in return. “Deal.” See you tonight at Thirsty’s Pizza around 6ish?

Sam nodded. “Panda gets in around 5:30 so we should get there in good time. Try to save one pizza for us.”

Craig laughed, “No promises, I’ve got two growing girls. But I’ll give it my best effort to delay them with arcade coins. Just be glad River isn’t ready to take the dive.”

Sam chuckled and shrugged. “I’ll take what I can get. Don’t forget to give Smashley a text when you get the chance.”

“Will do bro. Love ya.”

“Love you too.”

With a brief kiss, Sam vanished inside, and Craig trotted across the yard, waving to Damien and Brian, who appeared to be doing some woodwork in Brian’s garage, before heading into the house.

Craig should have messaged Smashley right away, but between a brunch-fueled diaper emergency, and a few sudden work emails, the rest of the morning was spent in a familiar blur of Skype meetings and rattling toys. Craig was too busy filing order forms, and stopping River from inserting several stuffed animals up her nose to think about much else.

Lunch brought a brief lull to the workday, with Craig whipping up some homemade roasted red pepper hummus with veggie dip. River wasn’t completely on board with hummus yet, electing to smear most of it onto her face and clothes rather than eating it. Still, she did manage to eat a few reluctant bites which Craig considered a small victory. Then it was a quick bath and a fresh set of clothes and they were off to get ready for softball practice.

As Craig drove towards the field, he found himself replaying the scene from the moring. He was hoping that Hazel’s impromptu outburst had just been a fluke, and everything would be fine.  _ Maybe she was just cranky, or was worried about something at school. It could just be nerves about the playoffs coming up.  _ Craig continued his cautiously optimistic theorycrafting as he filled up the water cooler, grabbed some extra gloves, and set up a covering for River’s stroller behind the chainlink fence.

Off in the parking lot, Craig could see one of the Maple Bay school buses dropping off a load of the student athletes. He could make out his group of Flapjacks as they separated from the boys heading to football practice. But as they drew closer, it became immediately obvious that things were still rocky with the girls. First, Briar and Hazel weren’t walking together like they always did. Briar was walking at the front of the group with Daisy and Christine, talking animatedly. Hazel was straggling at the end of the group, stone-faced.

Briar reached Craig first, and gave him a quick hug. Instead of her regular greeting she leaned in whispering; “ _ Head’s up pops, Hazel’s still mad. She’s been acting weird all day.” _

Craig nodded and smiled. “Yeah, I could tell when you weren’t walking together. We’ll just play it by ear. Maybe pizza tonight will calm her down, but for now, let’s both just give her a little space. Grab your mitt and go warm up with Daisy.” 

One by one, the rest of the Flapjacks made their way onto the field, grabbing balls, and spreading out across the field in pairs. Hazel didn’t even acknowledge her father or his greeting; she sauntered straight past him, and started tossing to Carmensita.  _ Well she’s definitely got some Smashley in her, _ Craig thought wryly to himself. He headed over to the assistant coach who was now seated next to River in the stands, watching the toddler as well as the team.

“Hey Naomi, how’s the leg?”

Naomi grimaced and gestured to her right leg, wrapped in a heavily decorated cast. “Still managing. But at least I have good company.” 

She gestured to River, who was busy gnawing at Arnold’s face. Craig looked over at the field listening to the occasional  _ thwap _ of successful catches from the girls, and noticed Christine eyeing Arnold. He raised his eyebrows at her, and when she caught his eye, she immediately turned away, turning slightly red. He hadn’t forgotten about that trip into the woods, but had held up his end of the bargain.

“I think today we’ll just keep it simple. Hazel’s going through a little something so we’ll practice our fieldwork a little, and then focus on some pop fly-”

_ THWACK _

Craig’s mind went blank as he instinctively launched himself over the bleachers, dashing through the opening in the fence. He knew the cause of a sound like that, and his eyes quickly scanned the field of players. Right by second base, Carmensita was sprawled on the grass, clutching her mouth, eyes wide and quickly filling with tears. A bright red stream of blood was dripping from underneath her clenched fist. Craig was there in seconds, gently helping her into a sitting position.

“Are you ok? What happened sweetheart?” Craig spoke softly as he pulled out a wad of tissue, and began dabbing gently at the blood on her chin. Carmensita whimpered, still in shock from the impact. The other girls had stopped their practice, and were quickly gathering around her. Craig quickly took charge. “Christine, go grab the first-aid kit by River. Everyone back up and give us a little space. Anyone see what happened?”

“Hazel threw it!” Daisy piped up.

Craig turned to look at Hazel, whose arms were folded, looking annoyed. “Oh shut up Daisy,” she snapped, “you were to busy chasing your own balls to even see it.”

“Hazel. That’s no way to talk to your teammate,” Craig said sternly, giving her a sharp look. “Did you throw it?”

Hazel rolled her eyes. “It’s not my fault she still can’t catch.”

At this, Carmensita pointed accusingly at Hazel. “I thaid you were trowing too harb!” she said shrilly, her words slurring from the congealing blood. “I thaid to wait tho I could tie my shoe!”

Christine arrived, postponing the argument, lugging the tan colored medical kit. Craig took it from her and popped it open. He grabbed some cotton and rubbing alcohol, and set about stemming the flow. “Don’t move too much sweetie, I need to get you cleaned up and see if your nose is broken.”

Carmensita tried to stay calm as Craig worked, but he could see her eyes watering in obvious pain. “I want my dad, Mr Cahn,” she whispered so none of the girls could hear.

Craig squeezed her hand gently. He whispered back, “I know honey. You’ve been super brave, and I’m gonna call him as soon as I slow down the blood. Just hang on a little bit more ok?” She nodded weakly, and closed her eyes tight, causing more tears to leak out.

“There’s nothing brave about missing the ball.” Hazel remarked snidely from the back of the group. A few of the girls gasped, and started whispering to one another. Briar was staring incredulously at her sister; usually Briar was the one that got worked up on the field, and the twin didn’t know what to make of the situation.

“Enough, Hazel,” Craig said, his voice quiet but audible to everyone in the vicinity.

“She probably just did it to get out of the playoffs next-”

Craig jerked his head in his daughter's direction. “ **Hazel** . Bleachers. Don’t move until I come get you. NOW.” She held his gaze for a moment, before turning away and stomping over to the bleachers and flinging herself into a seat, glowering at the circle of players. 

When Craig turned back to Carmensita, she was angrily wiping her face, where tears had started to trickle down her cheeks. “I-I-m sorry Mr. Cahn, I d-didn’t mean to m-mess up, I should have caught it I should have practiced more-” 

Craig spoke gently but firmly. “Carmensita, look at me.” Slowly, she raised her head, eyes filled with shame. He gently wiped away a tear.  “You did nothing wrong. There’s nothing to apologize for. This wasn’t your fault. Understand?” Almost reluctantly, she hiccupped and nodded her head slowly. “That’s my girl. Let’s go get some ice on it. Daisy, will you help her to the bench?”

As the girls gathered around to help their teammate, Craig headed directly to where Hazel was sulking on her seat. He was angry for sure. Hazel wasn’t the type to have an outburst like that...but after this morning, it was clear that the dynamic had shifted in some way.

“Hazel, I want to give you the benefit of the doubt, but that is no way to treat a friend. What happened?”

Hazel refused to make eye contact with her father. She stared fixedly at the concession stand, but her eyes weren’t angry anymore, just tired and confused. It was a few minutes of silence before she finally answered. “I was...just practicing I guess. I-I wanted to be serious about it because of the playoffs. She was tying her shoe but I thought she was ready, and by the time I realized it was too late and-” her voice trailed off and she gestured to her seat.

Craig didn’t say anything. Instead, he quietly took a seat next to her. They sat there quietly, each with their own thoughts and emotions. On the other side of the field, the team had started practice again, sans Carmensita who was nestled next to River and Naomi, and pressing an icepack to her face.

“Is she ok?” Hazel asked tentatively, finally breaking the silence.

“It doesn’t look like anything broken, but it’ll be swollen for a few days.”

Again there was silence. The sun was starting to dip down, setting a golden tinge to the stadium.

“I’m sorry I said that.”

Craig turned, and met Hazel’s gaze, raising an eyebrow. “While I appreciate you recognizing what you did was wrong, I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.” He pointed to the figures on the bleachers. “When you’re ready, head on over. Just don’t expect it to be an instant fix. You said some hurtful things to her.”

Hazel made a tiny movement with her head that Craig took as a nod. She sighed. “I don’t really know why I said all of that. It just kinda...I dunno, it just burst out in the heat of the moment.”

“When we’re stressed or worried, it can come out in various ways. And based off this morning, I don’t think playoffs are the real core of this outburst is it?”

Hazel looked away again. Craig waited for her to say something, but she wasn’t budging. He sighed. “I want to get to the bottom of this. But I’m not going to push you. I hope you know that I love you, and you can talk to me about anything.”

“I know that Dad. I just...don’t know how to say it yet.”

Craig leaned in and gave his daughter a gentle side hug. “Take your time. I’m not going anywhere. But try and say something to Carmensita before practice ends ok?”

After a moment of hesitation, Craig felt Hazel squeeze back.  _ All right, progress _ . “I will Dad. I’m sorry again.”

“I’m glad you’re sorry. Love ya kiddo. We’ll talk later,” Craig said as he rose to head back to the field.

“Ok. And...love you dad.”

As Craig headed towards his girls, his phone buzzed. He whipped it out to see Smashley’s grin plastered on his screen. Sam’s advice about talking to her suddenly flooded back.

_ S: YO Craigstand! I’m grabbing the girls tomorrow for the weekend right? _

Craig smiled at the message and quickly typed out a response.

_ C: Yep, everything’s set. Hey would you mind stopping by a little earlier tomorrow? There’s a little issue I think we need to talk about. _

_ S: For the last time, a threeway wouldn’t have saved this marriage. _

_ C: As much as I love that joke, I’m serious. It’s about Hazel. _

_ S: Oh shit! I thought you were just doing a bit with me. Yeah, I’ll swing by around lunchtime. That give you enough time? _

_ C: That’ll be great. Thanks Smash, hopefully it’s not too big a deal but it needs to be addressed. _

_ S: Alright. See you tomorrow then. Give the girls my love. _

_ C: Always. Take care. _


	5. Apologies and Oregano

All in all, Mat seemed almost  _ too  _ calm when he showed up 15 minutes later to take Carmensita home. Craig had done his best to calmly explain what had happened over the phone, but he was pretty sure his voice had cracked once or twice. The swelling in Carmensita’s nose had gone down, and she was a lot calmer.

 

Hazel’s apology hadn’t been the most tactful, but it had been clear that she was clearly remorseful for her words and actions. With only a tiny bit of hesitation, her apology had been accepted, and Hazel spent the last ten minutes swabbing Carmensita’s face, and holding the icepack to her nose. Still, Craig had been fearful of what the barista’s reaction would be. Three years of coaching had put Craig on the receiving end of many a venomous parent.

 

The first thing Mat did when he arrived was make a beeline for his daughter. He got down to eye level and pulled into a gentle hug. He spent a minute or so holding her, whispering in her ear and rocking her softly. When he was finished, he helped her stand, and began leading her towards their car, motioning to Craig that he would be back in just a moment. 

 

Craig’s stomach made an unpleasant lurch as he watched the two of them slowly make their way out of the stadium. It was always easier to deal with angry parents when rulings or games were out of his hand. But this whole incident was caused by Hazel and her outburst. Like it or not, it was more personal, and that made Craig jump in fright when Mat seemingly materialized in front of him.

 

“Mat, I-”

 

“Could I speak to Hazel for a moment, Craig?”

 

Mat spoke calmly, and there was no trace of anger in his voice.  _ Why did that make it feel ten times worse? _ Craig quickly motioned to Hazel, who had been watching nervously from the side. She stepped forward hesitantly, hands jammed firmly into her back pockets.

 

“Hi Mr. Sella…”

 

Mat got down on his knee and beckoned for Hazel’s hands. After a slight hesitation, Hazel placed her hand in his, not daring to look him in the face.

 

“You’ve still got quite an arm kiddo.”

 

Hazel squirmed a little, turning slightly red.

 

Mat pressed on. “Did you mean to hit her with the ball?”

 

She shook her head quickly. “No sir.”

 

“And did you mean what you said?”

 

At this, Hazel raised her head and stared straight back at Mat, her eyes red and wet. “I said stupid stuff that I didn’t mean. I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry-I’m really sorry-”

 

Her voice was muffled as Mat pulled her into a quick hug. After a moment, Mat pulled away. Hazel looked confused, and Mat smiled at her expression, as he wiped her eyes. “If you didn’t mean it and you apologized it, there’s nothing to worry about. Just remember that you pack a lot of punch for someone your age.”

 

Mat patted Hazel on the shoulder and stood up. He motioned to Craig, and the two dads began walking towards the car, where Carmensita was waiting inside. Mat waved at her. “Carmensita’ll be fine. I’ve broken my nose once or twice, she’ll just use this to get out of a few chores and she’ll be back to normal.”

 

“Mat bro, I’m sorry about-”

 

Mat interrupted again but there was no malice in his cut-off. “There’s no need to apologize Craig. It’s softball! These things happen. Tempers flare, mistakes are made, it all kind of comes with the territory. Hazel’s a good kid; I just wanted to hear it from her that it wasn’t intentional.”

 

Craig took a deep breath , relief flooding his system. “Thanks bro. Hazel’s been working through some stuff today, and it just kinda came out on the field. And I was afraid you might channel a little ‘soccer mom’ when you got here.”

 

Mat shook his head and smirked. “I’m too full of caffeine and carbs to channel my inner soccer mom.”

 

Relieved at Mat’s reaction, Craig gave him a side-eye and grinned. “Better that than oregano I suppose.”

 

Mat responded with a sharp poke in the side. “Goddammit, I  _ knew _ Sam wouldn’t be able to keep that one a secret.”

 

“Bro, you’re the one that told me!”

 

Mat paused, confusion playing on his face. “I-did I really?”

 

“At that BBQ we had before Thanksgiving last year!”

 

The two men laughed, a mixture of good memories, coupled with feeling grateful that the situation had been resolved without any harsh words. Craig dabbed at his eyes and let out one more shaky laugh. “Ugh bro, this day feels like it's gone on forever without any humor. Thanks for the laugh, and for understanding.”

 

Mat put a steady hand on Craig’s shoulder. “No worries my man. Anything I can do to help with Hazel?”

 

Craig shrugged. “Sam and Smashley are trying to help me with it. I think we’re on the cusp of separation-plus-new-father-figure-in-their-lives-and-don’t-know-how-to-deal problems.”

 

Mat let out a low whistle. “Oof. That conversation is never fun, but wholly necessary. Happened to me when Hugo and I got serious.”

 

Craig hadn’t expected this. “Really? It never really looked like there was anything up at least in public.”

 

Mat shook his head sympathetically. “That’s the nature of it. You never really know how the kids will react and deal with it. One one hand, Ernest was Ernest. He was already a bit of a wild child, and during our talks, he was very aggressive in showing his feelings about it. But Carmensita...she just bottled it all up. She hardly reacted and just distanced herself from everyone. She would constantly reassure us that she was fine, but she was just afraid of doing anything that would mess things up. Both were perfectly natural responses to it, but neither of them are a walk in the park.”

 

“What helped them get through it?” Craig asked.

 

“You’re not gonna like it dude,” Mat said.

 

“Just tell me bro.”

 

Mat spread his arms wide. “Time. The longer Hugo and I did things together, the more Carmensita came to realize that come highs or lows, we’re in it together as a team. The more time I spent around Ernest, the more his guard would let down, letting me get to know a smart, funny, charming young man who I think the world of. At the end of the day, time is the most valuable and precious thing we have. And when the kids see that you’re using your time to be with them, they come to an understanding.”

 

The two dads were silent for a while. Mat stretched his arms, while Craig stared into the darkening sky, pondering those words. Finally, he spoke. “Bro...that’s...deep. Like  _ Enya  _ or  _ Florence and the Machine  _ deep.”

 

Mat gave a short bark of laughter. “I was gonna be worried if there wasn’t a bro in your next sentence. And  _ Enya _ ? Really?”

 

Craig shrugged dramatically. “What? It’s relaxing!”

 

“I know, I know. I’m kidding. I’ve got two or three of her albums at the Spoon.”

 

Craig smiled and gave Mat a hug. “Thanks for the advice man. Really. I know I joke about stuff and all. But I really appreciate what you said. I think-I think I needed to hear that.”

 

Mat squeezed Craig's shoulder affectionately. “I know you man. Your heart’s in the right place. Whatever happens, you’ll know what to do.” He pulled back from Craig and motioned to his car. “I should probably get my little bruiser home. I’ll try to talk Ernest out of supergluing Hazel’s locker shut.”

 

“I’ll buy a dozen Chai Antwoords if you can. Biggie Smalls-sized.”

 

“With that kind of business, consider it done.” Mat smiled. “Have a good night man.”

 

Mat hopped into his van, ruffled Carmensita’s hair, and waved to Craig. Craig smiled and waved back to the two of them as they pulled out of the stadium parking lot. Mat had given him a lot to consider.

  
  
  



	6. Pizza and Problems

Pizza Problems

 

Thirsty’s Pizza was the kind of place that you could see a funeral party at and you wouldn’t bat an eye; it was a business that took all kinds, all the time, and had that liminal space feel that made you blindly accept whatever craziness ensued. Even on a seemingly innocuous Thursday evening Craig had only just managed to squeeze him and his daughters into a corner booth. The air was chaotic with the combination of bells, whistles, video game music, screaming children, and screaming adults screaming at the screaming children for screaming.

 

“All right bro-squad,” Craig said, loud enough so that all of the Cahns could hear. “Here’s the plan. I’m starting you out with only five game tokens. Use ‘em sparingly because you’re not getting more until after we eat. I’m gonna go order the pizzas with River. If you see Sam and Amanda, point them to our table. And let’s try not to break the DDR this time; I don’t care if a death drop is the best way to get the final combo.”

 

The twins nodded, hands outstretched expectantly. Hazel had been understandably quiet given the outburst from earlier and didn’t look as enthusiastic, but Briar still had that trademark ‘Cahn’ look in her eye; meaning that the zombies in  _ Dead Rush Rising Splatterhouse Horror Brunch Bash 18½   _ were going to be in for a bad time. Craig dropped the coins into the girl's hands, who promptly wove their way through the throngs of equally exuberant children. A moment later they were out of sight. 

 

Craig tickled River’s cheek, and headed toward the counter to order. An order of two meat-lovers specials with stuffed crust, a vegetarian pie, and an anchovy-pineapple concoction that Sam swore by later, he was back at their table, strapping River into a baby chair provided by a bleary-eyed employee. Craig sipped on a glass of water as he gazed blankly around the crowded restaurant. The noise usually didn’t bother him, but tonight his nerves were already on edge.

 

“You’re not making a convincing portrait for the  _ Pleased Pizza People  _ wall,” said a familiar voice to his left. Craig turned to see Amanda, wearing her iconic pin-covered jacket, lounging on the opposite bench and grinning.

 

Craig’s face broke into a tired smile. “Amanda! Bro! You snuck up on me, how’re you doing?” he asked as he pulled her into a quick hug.

 

“I’m about to eat paid-for pizza, I’m living the dream! Dad was having trouble finding parking, so he let me out at the front,” Amanda said, hugging him back. “I assume the girls are busy playing  _ DRRSHBB18 _ ?”

 

“18½  actually,” Craig said pulling back and looking her over. For a college freshmen whose father once tried to order a box of pure Oreo creme online, Amanda was looking well. College had taken the quirky and driven side of her, and had given it a super-boost. “You have a safe flight?”

 

Amanda shrugged. “I wouldn’t know, I ate like, three Whoppers, and slept through most of the trip. You were right, they knocked me right out.”

 

Craig laughed. “Just because I eat kale now doesn’t mean I don’t know my remedies. I’m a modern day alchemist when it comes to zoning out of a flight.” He ruffled Amanda’s hair affectionately. “It’s good to see you again.”

 

Amanda gave Craig a playful punch on the shoulder. “Glad to see you haven’t atrophied into a puddle of concentrated testosterone yet. I need you functional to keep dad alive into his 70’s if you can. How’re the girls?”

 

“They’re…” Craig trailed off, reluctant to share. But seeing the concern in Amanda’s eyes changed his mind. “We’re actually going through a bit of a rough patch to be honest.”

 

Amanda wrinkled her nose. “Dad was telling me something was up, but I thought it was the regular day-to-day classic pre-teen angst train.”

 

Craig shook his head wearily. “I wish it was that simple. The girls are starting to catch on to...your father and I being more than just bros, and Hazel isn’t taking it the best. Conflicted thoughts and feelings and all that.”

 

Amanda let out a whistle. “Ooh, and it’s  _ twins. _ They could be feeding each other data telepathically on the best way to sabotage it.”

 

Craig gave Amanda an appraising look. “I don’t think we have to worry about that. But I’m gonna talk to Smashley about it tomorrow. And hey, you dealt with it pretty well, so if you have any pointers-”

 

“Whoaahhhh there Craig, lemme stop you right there bro-friend,” Amanda interjected. “What makes you think I handled it well either?”

 

Craig paused, waiting for her to crack a grin like she usually did. But the look on her face wasn’t humorous, just sympathetic. “Wait, you weren’t happy with it either?”

 

Amanda shook her head. “Oh don’t get me wrong Craig. You’re big, and buff, and have a lot of life figured out. I knew Dad was all over you. I knew you cared for him. But...I couldn’t help but feel a little angry.”

 

For what felt like the 20th time today, Craig didn’t know how to respond. Here was Amanda, one of the most mature girls of her age he had ever known, telling him that she had been... _ angry _ at him. He kept quiet and Amanda pushed on.

 

“It wasn’t so much about you both being together. But a part of me was angry...for absolutely no fuckin reason. Angry that dad was...happy again, but happy with someone that wasn’t Alex. Anger at myself for being angry in general. You think you’re old enough to compartmentalize and understand, but sometimes you have to work through irrational feelings and thoughts. It’s weird and complex and frustrating, and that’s why I’m not a psych major.”

 

“And yes,” Amanda said, shooting Craig a kind smile, “I got over it. I’m happy you’re a part of my life, and vice versa. I like how you made the effort to be in contact me through freshman year when you didn’t really know how to do it. I like how you TRY to slightly improve me and my dad’s terrible eating habits. I love how you’ve made obvious sacrifices to try and make my dad happy.”

 

“And  _ I’m _ glad pizza was one of those sacrifices,” came a voice from behind them. Craig and Amanda were so caught up in their conversation, they hadn’t noticed Sam standing right in front of the table, haphazardly carrying all three pizzas, and doing his best to hide a bashful grin. Craig and Amanda sprung up to relieve Sam of his delicious burdens. 

 

Craig hugged Sam tight and felt some of the day's tension leave his body. “Bro!”

 

“Compliments and a hug? You’re too good to this old fart,” Sam said, squeezing him back. “Where are the little sluggers?”

 

Craig winced a little at the pun. “Over in the arcade. And...best not to use ‘slugger’ tonight. Hazel popped Carmensita in the nose at practice today.”

 

Sam’s eyes widened. “Oh damn, that escalated quickly from this morning. You talk to Smashley?”

 

Craig nodded. “She’s coming over early to chat before picking the girls up. Speaking of, let me go grab them so we can get started.”

 

Craig began twisting his way through the crowd which seemed to have doubled in size. He pushed past a few teenagers who were dueling each other with rolled up napkins, and entered the arcade section. He couldn’t help but feel a twinge of nostalgia whenever he saw these dusty screens; a large portion of his upbringing had revolved around many a round of  _ Interstellar Space Realtor Death Slam  _ fights at the local arcade.

 

Given the frequent times the girls had pulled him in to play DDR, Craig was familiar with the layout and made his way towards the shooter section. He spotted Hazel first; a neon red pistol in her hand, firing at a screen. Her face was grim with what looked to be concentration. As Craig moved closer however, he saw the source of her irritation; Briar was standing next to the player two pistol, arms crossed, glowering at her sister. Neither of the girls had noticed Craig approaching.

 

“-suck so badly at this Hazel.”

 

“Shut up! Just ‘cause I didn’t die already-” 

 

“You still have two tokens, let me play!”

 

“It’s not my fault you dropped your last one under the game! They’re my tokens!”

 

“The way you acted today, I don’t know why Dad even gave you tokens in the first place. It’s not like you deserve them.”

 

Hazel looked away from the screen, hurt and anger in her eyes. Apparently that wasn’t the time to look away, as a zombie slashed forward, and the screen turned red.

 

G A M E   O V E R

 

“Take it  _ back _ , Briar!”

 

“Or what, gonna hit me like you hit Carme-”

 

“ **ENOUGH** .”

 

Both of the girls, as well as several middle-schoolers nearby on another shooter all froze at Craig’s shout. 

 

He marched towards them, fuming. Maybe it was the worry about the girls. Or the stress of practice. Or any other odd assortment of curveballs life had thrown him today. But Craig Cahn was at his limit.

 

“No. NO. Both of you stop this right now. We’re in a public place, and I did NOT raise the two of you to cause a scene-”

 

“Briar was being a jerk to me-” 

 

“-Hazel wasn’t sharing any of the tokens-”

 

“Because you were being a JERK!”

 

“Says the meathead that couldn’t calm down for two seconds-”

 

That was it. The straw, the camel-whatever you called it. Craig had had it. “Hazel and Briar. Listen carefully to me. No more talking. You’ve proved to me that neither one of you are capable of a pleasant evening. So we’re leaving.”

 

The twins looked horrified. Their father had been angry before, but he had never pulled anything like this.

 

“Dad, we haven’t even eaten yet-”

 

Craig cut the girls off. “I’ll make you sandwiches at home. Now go get your jackets while I get River.”

 

The girls hesitated, rooted in place. Angry tears were filling their eyes.

“NOW,” Craig said. The tone in his voice was final.

 

The girls slowly started shuffling towards their table. Craig followed behind, his ears ringing. He noticed a few eyes following him as he moved out of the arcade stations. He could feel his face flush with embarrassment. He had yelled at his kids in public; something he had never ever wanted to do. But what would the alternative have been?

 

Sam saw them coming and stood up to greet them, but faltered when he saw the looks on their faces. “Everything alright bro?” he asked when Craig reached them.

 

“Yeah I’m about to go to town on the pizzas man!” Amanda piped up.

 

Craig sighed. “Bro...I’m gonna have to go. There’s some...issues tonight and I don’t think the twins can behave at this point. I already paid, have at ‘em. Girls, say bye to Sam and Amanda.”

 

The twins muttered under their breath as they yanked their jerseys off their chairs. They were already by the door as Craig reached down to unbuckle River from her chair. Even the little toddler looked confused, but she still clapped her hands over Craig’s face.

 

“Need any help?” Sam asked, concern in his voice.

 

“I...I just dunno bro,” Craig said his voice thick with frustration. “I just yelled at my daughters inside a pizza parlor in front of everyone because they were at each other's throats, and I gotta go, I can’t leave them alone right now I gotta-”

 

Sam placed a quick kiss on Craig’s cheek. “Go be with them. I’ll drop by later tonight. Love you bro, we’ll sort this out.”

 

Craig smiled and nodded to Amanda who threw him a sympathetic wave, already devouring the pizza. But as he headed out the door, flanked by two hurt and bitter children, he couldn’t but wonder…was it all really going to be ok?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter has taken longer! Still a teacher short at work so it's coming a little slower than usual. But in the meantime, I made a Craig Cahn playlist if you're ever interested! If you listen from beginning to end, it's a journey of self-discovery from his 'no-homo' college days, and progresses to his feelings for Sam! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQW8egWNpZRv5Hq9Qzkko-A


	7. Prelude to a Breaking Point

_ Of all the nights for the radio to stop working _ , Craig thought grimly to himself as he waited by the flickering stoplight. The silence within the car felt like an oppressive blanket; muffling the sounds from outside, while amplifying the negative emotions of the day on the inside. And that was driving him  _ fucking _ crazy. 

 

He could feel his daughters glaring daggers at him from the backseat. Well ⅔ of the girls at any rate. Their previous dispute in the arcade was gone; replaced by a temporary unifying anger that was currently being concentrated at the back of his head. Craig would’ve given anything to just turn around, go back to Thirsty’s and give them another chance. Even if they didn’t necessarily deserve a chance, he would be with Sam and Amanda and... _ people _ . But he knew that would do nothing but delay the inevitable fallout. And so he turned onto the freeway with the light, stomach grumbling, and heart heavy.

 

There was little to no traffic, given that most of the town was currently concentrated at the one place they were heading away from. The pale lights of nearby stores and traffic lights soared by in a soft hypnotic rhythm. 

 

“It’s not  _ fair _ dad.”

 

It was said so quietly, that Craig almost thought he had imagined it. But when he checked the back mirror, Briar met his gaze, sullen and accusatory.

 

“Maybe you’re right,” Craig said with a voice of forced calm. “But I don’t feel like either one of you gave me much of a choice in there.”

 

“I didn’t even do anything at Thirsty’s though!” Hazel said jabbing an accusing finger at Briar. “She’s the one who-”

 

“Hazel,” Craig cut her off firmly, “you know it’s a combination of Thirsty’s and what happened at practice. Neither one of you are blameless.”

 

“She’s still the one that started it all being weird today,” muttered Briar. Hazel shot a filthy look at her sister.

 

“ _ Please _ ,” Craig said quickly before Hazel could retaliate, “let’s just sit quietly and we’ll talk when we get home. Can we do that? Can we at least do that, please?”

 

Craig waited a few seconds before tentatively glancing at the mirror again. Both of the girls were looking out their respective windows, and seemed to have returned to their respective silences. Craig breathed out a sigh of relief-

 

_ WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! _

 

-and quickly hitched in another as a cranky and now very much awake River began to cry. Craig couldn’t really blame her; she was a baby and she was off her schedule because of their impromptu exit from the pizza parlor. She was probably hungry. Or cranky. Or tired. Or all of the above. 

 

“Briar, can you try and calm her down with the rattle please?”

 

“Why don’t you ask Hazel to do it, since she apparently gets away with  _ everything _ ,” Briar spat.

 

“Hazel could you-”

 

“Why don’t you call  _ Sam _ and ask him to do it?” 

 

Craig didn’t say anything, eyes desperately fixed on the road. Even if he wanted to say something he couldn't. Of course the girls had had arguments with him in the past. But this...was far beyond any simple disagreement. He wished the right words would spill out of his mouth, calm everyone down, and salvage everyone’s nerves. But nothing came, and he drove on, defeated.  

 

River continued to to wail in her carseat. Craig looked back one last time, hoping to catch an eye. Both girls were still firmly turned away from their younger sister, ignoring everything. Craig’s chest felt constricted; his breaths short and sharp, like the end of the Killer Hill in the park. He could feel a flush in his cheeks, and moisture in his-

 

_ I am not going to cry. You’re better than this Craig Cahn, you’re better than this. You HAVE to be better for them. You will NOT cry………....in front of the girls. Save it for later. I am NOT going to cry I am NOT going to cry- _

 

Craig repeated this desperate mantra the rest of the way home, and luckily it was just enough to get him up the gravelly driveway. River had passed the crying threshold several red lights back, and had graduated to full-blown screaming; screaming that neither of the twins seemed to care about.

 

With a tap on one of the buttons on the steering wheel, the sheets of dull grey metal slowly began to rise. Craig pulled the car up over the threshold, and gently came to a stop. Immediately, both back doors were unceremoniously jerked open, and the twins rushed out of the car and into the house without a word. Craig took a deep steadying breath, let a single tear squeeze out, before he pulled it all back in and slowly exited the car. He pulled a sobbing thrashing River out of her car seat, and walked around the car, gently closing the doors the girls had left ajar.

 

The girls had opted not to turn on the house lights from their speedy exit from the car. The only source of light was from two closed doors; Briar and Hazel’s room, and Craig’s office. Craig walked slowly through the dimly lit corridor, until he found the switch and flipped it on-illuminating the hallway with sharp fluorescent lighting.

 

He headed straight for the kitchen; roughly snapping open the refrigerator and grabbing a ready-made bottle of formula from the top shelf.  _ One nice thing about being an excessive anal-retentive automaton,  _ he thought to himself as he popped the rubber nipple into River’s mouth. River latched on and began violently inhaling her late dinner. He opened the pantry and eyed the items inside dully.

 

A small immature part of Craig growled deep inside; it wanted to make the twins fend for themselves for dinner. They were the ones that had ruined the evening, refused to comfort their sister, and refused to take responsibility for their actions. That part of him wanted to ground them, to punish them, and to make them regret causing such a stink.

 

Even with the cloud of anger, and the growing exhaustion of the day, Craig couldn’t bring himself to do it. He loved his girls; arguably more than anything in the world. And their anger was stemming from a place of hurt. Hurt that was partly due to Craig’s involvement with Sam. And no matter how unfair it may feel, they couldn’t help what they felt, and it was  _ his _ job to help make it right

 

A hearty burp from River alerted him that she had consumed her meal and was feeling a little more agreeable with, well, life in general. Craig plopped her down in her high chair and put a few toys and Cheerios down for her to peruse at her leisure. Then he started preparing some simple sandwiches for the girls dinner. Soon, two finished plates sat at the table. Nothing fancy, just whole wheat bread, romaine lettuce, sliced turkey and provolone with a dash of dijon mustard, with some carrot sticks and ranch dressing.

 

Craig didn’t even want to go the extra mile and make another sandwich for himself. He was running on empty across the board. But a vision of Sam's kindly face scrunched up in concern materialized in his mind.

 

_ You need to take care of yourself Bro. _

 

Resigning himself to taking his boyfriends advice, Craig grudgingly made himself a sandwich. He took a bite of it. It tasted  _ terrible. _

He took another bite. And another and another until the sandwich was gone.

 

He wiped his mouth with his hand and looked over at River, who appeared to have passed out in her chair. An olive branch being extended by this day? Or just a cruel taunt of what Craig wished he could do; fall asleep, and let the worries and fears building up on him slowly drift away at least for a moment. Gently, Craig lifted her out of her chair, and carried her down the hall to her room

 

He put the fan on low, and nestled River into her crib. No reason changing her if she was asleep. He wasn't going to risk waking her and starting the process over tonight. He finished tucking her in, and gave her a tiny kiss on her forehead. “Love you sweetie,” he murmured, before quietly exiting the room.

 

He returned to the kitchen, and rinsed his plate in the sink, putting it on the dry rack automatically. He glanced at the two plates, untouched. One for Briar, and one for Hazel. The girls hadn’t left their rooms. He sighed again. Time to choose. Which one first?

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're about to dive HEADFIRST into some angst town. But the sun does come out tomorrow, so hope you stick around!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy! Going to try and make this a multi-chapter work! Also, comment if you too have been emotionally blackmailed by this game into getting up early in the morning and running because of Craig.


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